Gary's Girl: November 2005

What's Next!!????

OMG! I feel like I'm being bled dry during the holidays. I just found out I need a new dryer (the repair man just left). This on top of all the Christmas gifts that I still have to buy, plus I really need to get new tires and I just got through buying new Bball shoes since the season started this month (not cheap since my son wears a 13 and the school requires a specific brand/style so that the whole team matches.) Not to mention, the schools are in a perpetual state of fund raising. I don't want to buy any more wrapping paper, candles, candy, etc. I swear, every time I turn around it seems like someone has their hand out! I can't wait to get through Christmas and get life back to normal i.e. no more Christmas shopping!!!!

On a brighter note, we only have 3 months left in Gary's deployment. I talked to him via email last night and he seemed to be doing well. It will be so nice to have him home. It's SO weird to not really talk to another adult all day. Well, at least I will get to visit with my old co-workers again on Friday. I have to testify and am looking forward to visiting with the attys and the judge (family court) for a few minutes afterwards.

Well, I guess I'd better head to Lowe's and price dryers.

Hugs!

Perspective

Throughout my life I've used food and exercise as a reward or punishment - sometimes punishing myself into dangerously low body weight/body fat levels. I'm realizing more, every year, that food is to keep you alive, not to punish or reward. This has been a very hard lesson for me to learn and stems back to my childhood. In high school and college, and at other times in my life, I've felt the need to have such extreme control over everything I ate and what I weighed that I was miserable. For the last couple of years I tried to totally ignore what I weighed and ate anything I wanted in any portion. That wasn't the right answer either. I feel like I am finally at a place in my life that I can put eating and my weight in the proper perspective. I'm eating and exercising reasonably. This is a daily challenge. It's very hard not to fall back into over exercising and under eating as I see the weight coming off. I want to look good. I want to feel good.

Hugs,
Cara

Visiting My Old Co-workers

Today I had to go to my old office to prep for a court hearing that I'll be testifying in this Friday. It was really neat because I hadn't seen most of these people since July. Everyone was talking about the amount of weight I had lost - quite a confidence booster! It was really good to see everyone and catch up. I missed them and my clients, but not enough to go back to the stressful grind of that job.

Tomorrow I'm going to get my monthly massage. This is an indulgance that I've enjoyed for many years. I highly recommend it! I hope everyone has a wonderful night.

Hugs!
Cara

No where to hide the fat in this swimsuit!

My favorite Christian Dior swimsuit. I know, I know, it's winter. But I couldn't resist.

How Did I Get Here??!!

So, maybe you're asking yourself how I dropped 20 pounds (maybe you're not). I have to give thanks to Nutrisystem, for giving me a nudge. I used their foods for about 2 months. After I ran out of all my favorites, I began using my own foods sporadically, then exclusively. I continually use the online diary and try to keep my calories between 1200-1500 calories today. Making sure to keep my protein intake high - which is sometimes a challenge due to my dislike of all things meat. My main weight loss booster has been exercise. I do cardio/resistance a minimum of 5 hours per week. I hate lifting weights of any kind, so I work out on an eliptical trainer (on level 12-15) for an hour. This gives me resistance and cardio at the same time. I am starting to see a lot of definition, particularly in my abs. I hope all my NS buddies will make an effort to make exercise as important as diet. HUGS!

My girls. Candra (18) and Cammi (10).

The kids and I after putting up the Christmas tree. Every year after Thanksgiving dinner, we go to a movie, then come back and put up the tree and take a family photo. This year we're missing Daddy.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. For almost 20 years I have cooked a big meal for my family and 1 or more guests. This is actually the first year I won't be doing that. It seems really strange. I'm not even making turkey. It's just me and the kids and they decided they would rather have chicken or ham. Well, I had to make a chicken because it at least looks like a turkey. I am making my famous rolls, mashed potatoes and stuffing. My son might fall over dead if I didn't do that! lol He's out buying extra flour and butter right now in case I have to make him another batch of rolls.

Gary emailed to tell me "good morning". I sure do miss him, but at least we are in the downhill stretch now. Oddly enough, in all his years in the Corps, he is generally home for Thanksgiving. He has missed Christmas several times, but I only remember him missing one other Thanksgiving. Normally at this time of morning he would be helping me get the bird ready for the oven. Later he'd be sneaking in to taste this and that, while pretending he was basting the bird. We laugh about that every year. He loves that yucky green bean casserole, so I have to make it every year. I'm more into making exotic things, but he insists that, no matter what else I make, we must have the green bean thing, mashed potatoes and my rolls. So, this is the first year I haven't made the green bean thing.

He just emailed me and said that he has a thumb drive with lots of pictures of me saved to it. I guess that's what he's doing for Thanksgiving;) I'd better go check on the rolls!

Clothes Shopping!

OMG! I went shopping for jeans and I'm now that skinny bitch asking for smaller sizes than what the store has on the rack! lol I had on a 4 and totally could have gotten into a 2, but they didn't have one. I then tried on a 5 in the juniors and it was loose in a couple of spots, so I looked for a 3, but they didn't have one. This is SO cool - it would have been cooler if I had actually gotten to try on a 2 or 3, but maybe when I go to the big city I will get to. I tried a few brands, just to make sure it wasn't a fluke - but, nope - I can easily wear a 4 or 5. Therefore, I don't care if I lose another pound. I can see my hip bones and the muscles in my stomach. I am thrilled!

I can now breathe comfortably in my size 4's!

Just Another Day

Today was just another day. I picked my oldest daughter up from school for lunch. We talked more about her taking the ASVAB - she is still torn between joining the Navy or the Army. My son had a basketball game tonight, but didn't play. He was one of only a couple of freshman to make the JV team, so he isn't really seeing any action yet. I didn't follow much of a diet plan today, I did burn 600 calories at the gym though, so I'm not really stressing it. I ate some french fries and some ice cream today, but not too much of either. In fact, I couldn't finish the ice cream from Cold Stone and had to give it to my son to finish. He ate his and the rest of mine - teenage boys and their metabolisms?!

I didn't hear from Gary today, I guess it was a really busy day in the dessert. Hopefully I'll hear from him tonight or tomorrow. I'm hoping this second 1/2 of the deployment will seem faster than the first 1/2 did. This has seemed like the longest one in his career. I know it must be due to him having 2 deployments so close together. I think he will be suprised to see the changes I've made to the house while he was gone. I know he'll be suprised to see me over 20 pounds lighter! lol I expect that I will stall at about a 25 pound loss. That is fine, I really don't NEED to lose any more. I'm wearing a size 4 and for my height, that's pretty thin. I'm getting lots of compliments and no one has said that I look TOO thin, which sometimes happens when I lose weight. I guess I should turn in for the night. The Daily Show will be on soon and that's the one TV show that I watch faithfully. I love Jon Stewart!

1/2 Way!

Today is the 1/2 point for my husband to come home (I hope!) My experience with 15 years of the military is that no return date is actual until they are in final leg of the return home. I'm hoping he and I can take a mini-trip, alone, when he gets home. He came back from Afghanistan in Sept. 2004 and we took a cruise, but less than a year later he was in Iraq. That just seems to be the current deployment schedule. I'm thinking maybe a trip to SC or the Blue Ridge Mountains. There aren't too many statest that we haven't visited over the years. Maybe we'll try to MAC to Spain??!!!