Gary's Girl

Just me and my everyday experiences as a military wife and mom.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Nutrisystem Trophy Wife

I recently filmed a new commercial for NS that should begin airing in the next several months. In it they asked me to repeat a line that was used in the first commercial, "My husband jokingly calls me his trophy wife." I did repeat it in this new shoot because I was the one that originally fed them the line - as a joke.

Since the first commercial, I have caught quite a bit of flack about the "trophy wife" comment. I've heard comments in person and seen or been told about postings on the internet....so, I'll try and clear things up here once and for all.

1. I said "JOKINGLY!!" The reason I said jokingly, is because it was a JOKE!!! Duh! My husband doesn't objectify me, and yes, I know what the term trophy wife means and here is why it was funny in the context of our marriage: We are 6 months apart in age, we've been married over 20 years, we are both college educated professionals, and neither of us is more attractive than the other. As for those who thought I was a "dumb", southern girl - I graduated college with a 3.88 and my IQ is in the 130s.

2. Kelli has the thick southern accent - not me. I have a slight southern accent. At any rate, southerners are no more or less likely to be dumb than those from other parts of the country. We're just much cuter and that makes everyone from up north jealous. Once again, JOKING!!! My two best friends are from NY.

3. That is my real body. I see it every day and I'm sure I would know if they "pasted" my head on a different body.

4. No, I didn't get my body in this shape with NS alone. But come on, isn't that a no-brainer???!! I lost weight with NS, but I improved my muscle tone through running. I've been a runner for years, but I had stopped for a couple of years due to problems with my feet and a hectic schedule due to my husband's deployments. Once I had lost some weight with NS, running was easier on my feet and I was able to start again. As a matter of fact, I ran a 1/2 marathon in March and averaged 8.5 minute miles (a little slower than I used to be, but I am getting older. lol) Go, Me!!!

5. Yes, those are my real boobs and no, I've never had a "tummy-tuck". I just happen to have good genetics in that department. My father was a professional athelete and still has flat abs at age 60. Both of my parents have remained fit and it would be hard for anyone to imagine they are great grandparents.

I hope that clears things up. I'm sure there are still people that will complain about my comment when the new infommercial comes out, but some people are never happy. I just wanted to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being proud of your body. LONG before someone notices your intelligence and/or incredible wit, they notice your appearance. That is the world in which we all live - like it or not.

Hugs,
Cara

P.S. Check out the pictures from the commercial shoot below. I took my son along with me and treated him to Miami Heat tickets.

posted by Cara @ 11:42 AM  

20 Comments:

  • At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Cara,

    Don't let those people bother you and make you feel bad in anyway. You look awesome!! And, you are a great example of NS success.

    Did you go for another commercial shoot? Was it fun. I wish I got a chance to talk to you more at the Philadephia shoot. Maybe NS will do another shoot and I will get a chance to meet you.

    Best Wishes!!
    Natasha:)
    (nhop1976 on the BB)

     

  • At 11:26 AM, Blogger Cara said…

    Thanks, Natasha! I've just been really fed up by the negative comments by people who want to label me, but know absolutely nothing about me.

    Yes, I did shoot another commercial for NS - actually it was an infomercial. The pictures of me in the turquoise bikini are from that shoot. Hopefully NS will get us all together again at some point. Thanks for your support!

    Hugs,
    Cara

     

  • At 7:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Cara,

    No problem!! I forgot to meantion that you look AWESOME in that turquoise bikini!!! I want to be like you in the bikini!! I better get working on Core Max by Cathe friedrich in order to get great abs like you my friend. lol

    Take care and good night :>)
    Natasha

     

  • At 12:46 PM, Blogger O' Natur Nail said…

    Cara-

    You are one HOT HOT MAMA, NO JOKE there!!!!!!!! : )

    Don't let the ignorant bring you down, you deserve that spot light!!!

    How awesome another shoot, how cool... I had a lot of fun doing ours, I was nervous though and I think that came across. Ah well, maybe next time?? ;-) hee!

    Do you still order NS? Great job on the marathons!!! I average 8 min miles myself... I'd like to cut that in 1/2, ahhh... it'll come. Still gotta get me some of those Nike running shoes to post my data! Can people share their play lists on there??

    Hopefully NS will get us back together, I could use another vacation! ;)

    Anyway- hope everybody is well! Talk to you soon.

     

  • At 5:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Actually, Cara, more power to you!

    The only thing I take issue with is the "I haven't had this smokin' hot body since college." It would take a man to write that line. I belive that is what most of us women out there are annoyed with. Had she said, "I haven't felt or looked this good since . . . " now, that would be REAL.

    Still, more power to her for losing the weight which made her feel unworthy or unattractive. It is the person who actually wrote that line for her to say that that pisses me off. Women don't speak of themselves that way.

    The commercial is just plain annoying, even though I am happy for the ladies who achieved the results they worked hard for.

    The commercial is just plain annoying. 30 or more times a day on CNN? Jeez. Give it a REST!

    Jeannemarie

     

  • At 6:39 PM, Blogger Cara said…

    Jeannemarie,

    Thanks for your comment. I really felt the need to set the record straight, and I appreciate your input.

    What I will add though, is that NS did not give us personal trainers (heard that one from someone the other day), nor scripts. We were simply filmed over a long period of being asked questions and they edited as they saw fit. I actually know the woman who says "smokin' hot body" and trust me....she came up with that on her own. I'm sure the comment was made very tongue in cheek just as mine was made.

    An actual occurance that points this out: After shooting the commercial, Smokin' Hot (Julie) and I were laughing and joking about being "hot moms" when we spotted a young man wearing a t-shirt that said "I "heart" Hot Moms." I feel like me again (Danielle) bought me an "I "heart" Hot Moms" t-shirt as a joke. Smokin' Hot and I proceeded to find as many random people as possible to don the "hot moms" t-shirt and pose for photos with us - Cab drivers, pizza boys, tourists, film crew, etc. Everyone seemed to see the humor in it because Julie and I are both clearly not in our twenties any longer (wink).

    All that being said, I'm very proud of my accomplishments and that includes my looks and I'm not ashamed to admit it or poke fun at myself. I think sometimes women feel that they can only be the "smart one" or "the pretty one." Why can't we be as many things as we would like to be? Why can't we laugh at ourselves?

    Of course I feel better since losing weight....I'm sure most of us do - but no one can really see how I feel, however you can clearly see how I look. As I said before, one's appearance is the first impression one makes - not one's intelligence, wit or health for that matter.

    As for the frequency of the commercial - Sorry, I have no say in that. Although, it's pretty funny to see myself every day and remember saying the things that landed on the editing room floor - boy would I be in hot water over some of that stuff - just kidding!

    Cara

     

  • At 6:59 PM, Blogger Cara said…

    Tressa,

    I thought you were great in the commercial. You know we are all hyper-critical of ourselves! lol

    I've had to cut back on my running a little since the race, my feet have been hamburger lately. I just can't seem to keep them healthy - at least there are no stress fractures though. Knock on wood! I'm not sure about sharing the playlists (there may be a way), but the challenges are a blast.

    I was going to call you and Julie up while I was in Long Island in March, but we were only there for 3 days and it was super hectic unfortunately. As you said though, maybe NS will get us all back together at some point.

    By the way, I heard something the other day about a child actress shooting a spot for NS. I didn't know her (a little after my time) but my daughter said that she remembered the show. Maybe you'll remember it too - "Boy Meets World." I can't recall the her name, but apparently she was a lead on the show. In fact, I'm getting SO old that I can't even remember where I heard that! lol

    Hugs,
    Cara

     

  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger Bear said…

    Hey lady! Sorry to hear you are getting flack....some people need to develop a sense of humor.

    I think you have done great and I'm sure most people will find you inspirational.

     

  • At 1:00 PM, Blogger Leah the Fat Chick said…

    No wonder this link was left on my blog...since I was talking about this commercial...

    I've never made any comments about your intelligence, fake body, or anything else...merely about the trophy wife comment.

    I'm glad you know it's a joke. Thing is, when you're making a commercial that millions will see, you simply can not expect everyone else to be in on your inside joke. It sounds demeaning, and I would think you would not want to portray yourself that way, skinny, fat or otherwise.

    I don't like Nutri-System, but that has nothing to do with the commercials. The commercials are offensive -- intended or not, they are offensive, and you took part in that.

    Funny thing about being human....we have that thing called free will...and when someone tells us to say something, we aren't automatically programmed to repeat it.

    Congratulations on your weight loss. I'm glad it worked for you.

    I still find the comment offensive, even knowing the back story of it.

     

  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger Cara said…

    Leah,

    I'm glad you stopped by my blog. My posting about this was related to all the websites/blogs/whatever I've been forwarded by people that I know, plus people that have just made comments - not just you specifically. I have not seen tons of them - but some of the ones I have seen have just been outrageous lies.

    Here is the reason that I would "expect" that people know it is a joke - Because I clearly said in the commercial that it was a joke.

    As for "free will," I made it very clear that NS did not tell me to say that - I said it in that commercial and that was the first time they (NS) had ever heard it from me. They asked me to repeat it in the second commercial (not yet airing) and I did - because it was true and kind of silly. Yes, I took part in laughing at myself - how dare I have a sense of humor.

    For the life of me I cannot fathom why something that my husband - who I've known for almost 40 years - said to me in jest offends you or anyone else. He didn't say it to you, he said it to me. We've said some crazy stuff to each other for the last 20 some odd years and we always make each other laugh. I think most people are just too thin skinned. I don't know how old you are, but as I've gotten older I've gotten to the point that very little offends me. I would never have guessed that people would take something that my husband said to me as something personal, or even jump on it as their cause of the week (not that you did - but I've seen a couple of places where someone did.) There have been some really ugly things said about me and my husband - whatever - it really doesn't offend me, very little does at this stage in my life (as I said before.) I just wondered if some of them (particularly the extremely nasty ones) were people with nothing better to do than blame their not losing weight on me making a joke about my losing weight, not out of concern about my husband "degrading" me. Maybe they should examine exactly why it bothers them so much.

    Cara

     

  • At 7:28 PM, Blogger Cara said…

    Bear,

    Thanks so much for the support. Glad you and my other friends have an actual sense of humor. I hope things are still moving in the right direction for you. I keep meaning to get over to your blog and catch up and post.

    Hugs,
    Cara

     

  • At 8:45 PM, Blogger Leah the Fat Chick said…

    Hi Cara,

    Thanks for replying to me, as well as for your post on my blog. I'd like to clarify a bit of my point. Firstly, when I spoke of them telling you what to say, I got your commercials mixed up. I read where you had said they told you to repeat it and you did, and thought it was for this commercial...that was my mistake, however, as the events do still hold true, merely on another commercial which will air in the future (I presume), then it's really the same situation, I'd think.

    Yes, you absolutely did say it was a joke. And you say you can't figure out why anyone would be offended by something not said to them. Because that's life. I'm sure Don Imus thought the same thing about the massive backlash over his comments, which were said to his producer. See, it was a private joke...and as long as it remained so, fair enough. However, when you make something public, you must then expect a public reaction to it.

    I'm really not as thin-skinned as you think I am. Thing is that I dislike offensive labels, said to me or not. I'm not gay, yet I find "fag" offensive. I'm not black, yet "nigger" makes my blood boil. See, the way I look at it is this: some very dark days lie in the shadows of the past of this world..some days in which no one was equal, and only WASP men mattered at all...days when it was perfectly normal and acceptable to make fun of anyone for anything which was different...anything which could be labeled and demeaned was.

    Much like the comments regarding rap music after the Imus scandal, this is a very similar thing. As long as these offensive labels are still used - regardless of context - then they are still being supported and promoted. Yes, you said it was a joke...and the 10 year old little girl who hears that and sees the pictures of the pretty women on tv begins to think some day she wants to be a trophy wife.

    The thing is that I do get it. I do completely realize that my views, my morals, the way I see the world around me is not the same way others do. Personally, I take offense at all demeaning labels - aimed at me or not. Personally, I think that we - as a country, as a world, as people - we need to get rid of these terms which demean, even if they are not used in that context. If they are used, they are still there, and they still bring to mind the offensive things they mean....whether they are used that way or not. Now, I know that I can not expect everyone else to feel the same as I do. However, as much as I respect your husband's right to call you his trophy wife, and as much as I respect your right to find it amusing, it would seem you should then equally respect my right to find sexist labels - even when not aimed at me - offensive.

    I'm sorry for the incredibly offensive comments made about you...however, I didn't make them. I responded to your comment in the context of how very little it promoted the product to me. If someone were on your TV saying "my husband says my new hair gel gives me just the nappy nigger hair he loves"...just how quick would you jump up to go purchase that gel?

    I fully understand inside jokes - my husband and I have them. And I think it's great that your husband and you are still so lighthearted after so many years together. But people will always judge...as you said in my blog, they will even be mean about whatever they can find to be mean about....thing is that as long as you are ok with it, then what I think, what anyone else things, none of that really matters, now does it? I can just be as offended as I want....the more offensive people can chomp at the bits if they like...doesn't make you take offense to it, does it?

    People waste far too much time being bogged down in negativity...and I will fully admit that finding offense in things which aren't said to me is unnecessarily taking on issues which aren't really mine to take. But then...not that this is anywhere near as important...but...where would the world be today if no one were willing to fight for things they saw as wrong? Without the military, who fight for people...without the civil rights leaders, who fight for equality...without women's suffrage, and any of countless other things. People have always found error in that which does not directly affect them -- and the world is better off for it.

     

  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Leah the Fat Chick said…

    ooooooooooh...sorry that was so long! :)

     

  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger Cara said…

    Leah,

    Thanks for your comments. This is an interesting debate. What I'd like to add is that - in reference to your example - Imus was talking about someone else. I was talking about myself. I must say though, that I didn't really find Imus' comments offensive, just completely stupid and that is very different for me. You see, I don't get offended when someone says something that is just so completely ridiculous that that person's views are just irrelevant and not worth wasting time on or repeating in the news a million times. Honestly, it seems to me that the constant dishing of his stupid statement would be more offensive. Why not just dismiss him as a rambling idiot and move on. I heard one of the Rutgers women say something along these lines as well.

    As far as being offended by derrogatory remarks that don't apply to you - certainly that is your perogative. I have what I like to call a "rainbow" family (we are pretty diverse - hispanic, black, gay, etc.)and I have always been of the opinion that you cannot internalize stupid comments and labels. Most people that use the words that you mentioned are not even worth getting offended over. If you don't feel that the negative term applies to you - then it simply doesn't. If you spend more time working on yourself, you don't worry too much about someone calling you a f*g or n**ger, or any other negative term.

    As for the 10 year old girl seeing me and "hears that and sees the pictures of the pretty women on tv begins to think some day she wants to be a trophy wife," I find that one pretty far fetched. I've worked with kids for many, many years - social work, mental health, etc. They don't look up to an unknown lady talking about being a pretty grandmother - trust me on that one. Unfortunately they look up to singers and actresses who are quite often poor examples - in fact being a "trophy wife" would be much more preferrable than being a drunken, underaged, anorexic, cocaine user. Not that actually being a "trophy wife" is good, but I hope you understand what I'm saying here.

    I can respect your right to find the whole commercial "offensive" I just don't get it - and I never will. I know that you are not one of the people that wrote things like "that trophy wife should be shot" - completely crazy. That wasn't really what I wanted to post about though. What I wanted to do was dispell the lies - such as comments about a boob job, tummy tuck, etc. That doesn't mean I was "offended" by the statements, I just felt it was my responsiblity - as the actual person - to say what was true and what was a lie for example I said that it was true that I didn't get this body with NS alone (as someone else had stated.)

    I'm sure this won't be the last word on this, but I wanted to clarify my opinion on some things. By the way, I see Oklahoma mentioned on your blog a great deal - I grew up there as did my husband.

    Cara

     

  • At 8:47 AM, Blogger Emily said…

    Cara, You look great. I love seeing you on the commercials. It's hard to hold on to a loss like that. I know first hand. So congrats to you. You look fantastic. I think the commercial is great, and I love seeing success stories. I guess some people are easily offended. The point of the commercial is that losing weight and getting healthy makes you look and feel fantastic, and you prove that. Good luck with the running!

     

  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Vercingetorix said…

    You're awesome, intelligent, and HOT. And there's nothing wrong with a Southern accent. Pay no mind to the elitist pansies that can't take a joke. "Jokingly calls me his trophy wife" pretty much explains it. If they can't understand it - they're beyond hope.

     

  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Leah the Fat Chick said…

    Hi Cara,

    Long time not talk, it seems. Sorry about that.

    I agree that people take things too far. Personally, as I'm sure you can understand, being 400 pounds means I don't have a thin skin....and it's a good thing, because things being like they are, I'd be awfully hurt a lot of the time.

    I just don't get it. I really don't. And I understand that you don't get my view. I think we just diverge here because I see things as offensive (even if they do not personally offend me) and you do not see how something not directly aimed at or affecting me should be offensive. I get that.

    I think your manner is completely respectful, and I fully support your right to want to address the false claims and idiotic statements made about you.

    I think it's excellent that you are so proud, and it's especially important that you are not bogged down in the negativity of others. When it comes right down to it, as long as you are cool with things, then that's really all that matters, isn't it? I don't have to like what you do/say/etc.....great thing about that is that you get to live your life as you choose, and I'm ok with that.

    Lord knows I wouldn't want people I didn't know deciding on the political (or other form) correctness of my life and behaviors. :)


    -- what part of Oklahoma?

     

  • At 8:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Found your blog through one of those negative posts. I have to say, I LOVE the way you and Leah are having intelligent discourse (even disagreeing) on this topic. Chicks (fat or otherwise) rule!!!

     

  • At 1:10 PM, Blogger Alesha Lauren said…

    Hey Cara,

    I think you are an inspiration! I actually just started nutrisystem mainly because of you! I saw your commercial and thought, hey maybe I should try that. I'm 23 and I have struggled with my weight since my parents got divorced when I was 16, and now my boyfriend and I are hoping to get married and I feel like a blimp. I have run three 1/2 marathons but in the last year I gained just over 30 pounds and it has made it impossible for me to run at all. (So hard on the joints)I've only been on it for a few days so we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted but thanks so much for inspiring me.

    Alesha Lauren

     

  • At 5:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is great info to know.

     

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